Becoming a Predator

The toxic fumes of a pesticide burnt my nostrils, I refused to breath in the air that so heavily smelled of death – attempted to open the windows, but the fumes stifled me already…..Escaped, the word is still a misnomer, into a brightly lit cubicle, still stifled by the insensitively cold air in the atmosphere. I am still trying to breathe in - - -



Clear blue skies, flourishing blooms, the greens breaking through the ground to rise above the dark soil, the onset of Spring stole the grey white sheets from over me, too. But, little did I realise the returning of warmth in the air was to break the dormancy of another powerful species!!! TheCimex lectularius have made this Homo sapien completely insomniac and a predator in the making.


In Spring I learned about them, identified them and prepared to combat if need be. Prudentially, tried to maintain a “sweet” introduction from a distance. Restrained visiting friends who I knew had become hosts to the bedbugs and I guess, was being hated in reciprocation.

I was fooled though. Came late Spring and I would wake up in the middle of the night looking for my elusive “guests”. They were crawling over me, piercing my skin, injecting anticoagulants and anesthetics and feeding on me!!!


To begin with, I was nice to my guests – did not take “ their” bed away, instead lost mine!! Live and let live, what say?


Came in Summer and along came the sweltering heat. Perfectly snuggled under my bedroom carpet they were, feasting on reportedly every night; we have played the hide and seek game for a month now. They have grown in health, in numbers and shown courage in the light. I wait till dawn comes to only stretch my spine.


Extermination is known to be hard game and I have provenly failed!! But I have to battle to sleep. The fumes burn my nostrils, my eyes blur from insomnia as I wait for the dawn ---- of the day and everyday!

If I Knew You

I know you

I know who you are, I know you deep inside -

My eyes have formed you, my mind gave you the heart

I see the world the way do your eyes!

Yes, I know you

I know who you are

You stand amazed in the rainbow of flowers

I find solace in the fragrance , scavenge hope in anthers!

You show me the Fall clouds in the sky

I see dark purple waves roaring through scattered gold

I felt the golden disc beyond, bedazzled by the ripples in the sky!

You took me to the fountain some days

To the music of water, the rhythm of cascades, the spirits to mesmerise

My dreams my hopes my faith revelled high!

Yes, I know you

I know who you are

You took me to the world one day

Gave me a name, called me yours –

I came to know you had your eyes and a heart of yours!

Still I know you,

I know who you are

My lonely days spin dreams for you, my nights descend to cry

I stand alone by the fountain, gaze at the sky

Not a petal to pass by!

The shards of Life

The picture frame a friend gifted refused to hang on to the wall - a weekend afternoon nap getting disrupted by a "thud" and a brief span of dismay if I may. The Made in China wooden part of the frame was totally lame but the glass remained a little more than shards!!! As my instinct would have it, I held the bigger glass pieces in my hand, light shining through and on them... did not want the giant trash receptacles to ground them back to silica. The School Glue fixed the edges together, some paint helped to hide the cracks......to add on, some seashells gifted by a loved one helped beautify and turn the pieces together into one piece pleasing the eyes. How I wish there were magic glues to hold together, some forlorn paints to add color to........and gifts of the nature - the scattered seashell-like smiles and laughter, memories and love that could put together and glorify the broken pieces of life, too........alas.........

Not a Food Blog

Nopes...this is not a food blog as the visuals may persuade you to see, smell or think :)........Although the "male alimentary canal" has long been known to be connected to the "male heart" through good food, food can appropriate any soul!

In a strive to revive my blogspot and seek entrance to all your hearts...may I use some savories, too :). I love to cook and as I cook for the week, I try to make each weekday a little special in its food after a day's grind at work. This week begins with Kashmiri Dum Aloo...

Memories of a sweet delight

There is no denying of the fact that I have rightly inherited the genes to be a good cook from Maa and the patience to be good at something from my Bapi. Not a single day has passed since my last visit to Kolkata...to my home...that I have not missed the two Angels of my life. And as always, I try to live each day in the Eastern Time Zone as I would have lived in the Indian Standard Time!!!!

While Maa would have hardly imagined in her dreams, I did make "Roshobora" today. A dumpling of lentils dipped in sugar syrup.......the grainy texture of the lentils, the taste of Urad daal and the sweetness used to be a welcome snack if you will for the family. Donot remember which time of th year Maa made them....but the Roshoboras had been haunting me over the last few days. And as I take pride in my culinary expertise, the Roshoboras are perfect this evening, too. Stealing time from the deadline of an Abstract submission for a scientific pursuance by midnight, I let my emotions take over as the golden brown dumplings stare back at me through the glistening syrup!!!

“Ami parbo…..”

Mon tokhon 6 bochhor –
Dada tokhon 13. roj sondhebela Dadu’r kachhe niyom kore porte bosha. Dada’r tokhon onek pora, history, geography, maths, translated Shakespeare o. ami tokhon ki portam moneyi pore na….bondhoy tokhono Shohoj Paath shikhchhi. Kintu dada’r oyi motamota, koto e na rongin chhobiwala boi gulo’r dike khub lobh chhilo amar. Kintu chhoyan jetona sheyi boi – kothin boleyi hok ba bhari boleyi hok. Ekhono mone ache ekdin ami Dadu’r kachh theke Shakespeare cheye niyechhilam ekrokom jor koreyi. Dadu bolechhilo “jhumi, o tumi porte parbena maa”. Amar Mon bolechhilo “Ami parbo….”. ki chhilo tate, kotodur ki bujhte perechhilam, shey smriti aaj jhanpsha. Kintu mone ache dadu porer din shokale ekta Cadbury ene diyechhilo. Chokchokhe chokhe du haath bariye diyechhilam ami. Sheyi bodhoy amar para’r shuru. Mon jokhon e bolechhe “Ami Parbo..”, ami jenechhi shey kaaj shohoj noy, kintu seshe achheyi kono upohaar!

Mon tokhon 9 bochhor –
Goromkaale Kolkata’r loadshedding nityoniyomito byapar. Khola chhater opor shodyyo office pherot bapi r ami. Grishyokaaler taapmukto korteyi bodhoy dokhin hawa’r shrishti. Maadure boshe bapi r amar koto e na golpo cholto shey shob sondhebelaye. Mone acche porer din chhilo Class III er final exam er result. Porikka ke bhoy petam na ami, kintu result ke petam. “First hote hobe” – na na, maa bapi konodin e emon daabi rakehni amar kachhe, kintu amar mon rakhto, r mon er kachhe haar mene nite hobe, shetayi amar bhoy. Bapi jiggesh korlo “Babu, kaalke ki hobe?” Amar uttor “ami First hobo”. Bapi o bhoy dekhalo “Rima kintu khub bhalo meye”. Mon bollo “Ami parbo…” r ami bollam “Bapi, amar cake chayi kintu”. First hoyechhilam ami Class III e. Class III theke Class X. jibone’r shaat ta bochhor protyek final result er din cholto Mon r amar lodayi “First amake hoteyi hobe”.

Mon tokhon 16 bochhor –
Sesh holo CBSE. Jiboner notun ek odhyay shuru howar somoy. Mon bollo ebar r shudhu bapi’r taka e porashuno korbona. Nije tuition korbo. 16 bochhorer jed kintu bapi mene neyni. 16 bochhorer Mon ke mone koriye dewa holo shey Meye. onnyer bari giye bidyabitoron kora take manaye na. bari’r chaar dewaler nirapottaye theke jibone boro howar chesta koro. Ami nijeke proshno kori parbo ki ami banchte jekhane swadhinota shudhu lingo nirnoy kore dewa hoy???? Mon bollo “Ami parbo…..”. Chhatro chhatri duyeyi jutegelo. Chollo nirapod sikhhya adanprodaan.

Mon tokhon 25 bochhor –
Ami uchhoshito, jeno prithibi joy er anondo. Prothom janlam “bhalobasha” kake bole. Eto dewar eto pawar anondo. Bujhlam jibone bhalobashar opore r kichhu neyi. Kintu cheharata je shundor noy, barita je chhoto, ora bodhoy ektu gorib!! Mon bollo manushtake dekho. Ami hashi, boli ebar ami jitechhi – manush ta je boddo bhalo. Ekeyi tobe nirbhoye bhalobashi. Mon o shaaye dey “Ami parbo….”.
Mon ta boro boka, buddhi neyi etotuku. Bhalo o je gorib hole shudhu bhalo thakte parena. Bhalo ebar hisheb kore - kom beshi, 3 tola 1 tola, bichaar kore chamrar rong, jaante chaye property valuation. Ebar ami bhoy payi. Bhabi Mon ebar o bolbe “Ami parbo..”; kintu ebar Mon kichhu bolchhe na keno? Mon keno shudhu kanchhe?!?!?!
Maa go “tumio kanchho?”

Mon ekhon 27 bochhor –
Charu Market er hoyichoyi chhere, 4 tola’r chhath chhere, bhorer train er horn chhere, sheeth er rod er taap chhere ekhon bandha porechhi Neil Avenue er shobdohin, alohin, praanhin ekta ghore. Ami khub chesta kori Mon ke bhalo rakhte – bapi’r priyo Manna Dey, blinds er phaank diye dhoka poronto bikeler nijhum alo, dresser er opore shajano thakur, ghor jure amar Puchkai er chhobi – kintu Mon bhalo thakena. Mon khub kande aajkal, koto ki jeno bolte chaaye kintu ke shunbe!!! Ami je boro byasto – paper er deadline, TA er kaaj, project er tara – ki kore tomaye bhalo rakhi ami???

Aaj chhuti nilam tomar jonne. Bhablam golpo kori tomar sathe, dujone mile nahoy eksondhyaye smritiromonthon kora jaak. Dekho toh shobayi koto khushi tomake niye. Mon shara deyna. Ami boli eyi toh shuru ekla thaka, ekhono je onek poth baki. Mon ebaro bolo “Ami parbo…”!!! Mon ekhono shara dichhona keno??

Chithi

Bhai,

ami toh proti muhurteyi e-mail check kori...tao toke uttor dite besh deri e holo...ashole chayichhilam jokhon tui e-mail check korte ashbi abar totodin obdhdhi jeno eyi "chithi" ta tatka thake :)

hmmm...ami kemon achhi? bhalo e achhi re. e deshe bhalo thaka khub shohoj.........besh nijer moton thaka jaaye, keu karor jibon niye matha ghamaye na.....chayile shobbar sathe hoyi hoyi koro, r na chayile ghore boshe Sunil Gangyopadhayye gelo....tobe bangali prochur eyi paraye...tara majhe majhe naak golan bote :P. bondhu temon bhabe keu hoyni....ekhane "shudhu jawa asha, shudhu shrote bhasha...". khoniker jonne eksathe hoye khub hashi thatta anondo kora...abar nijer duniyaye pherot. bhalolegechhe onek ke, oneker satheyi bondhuttyo kora jaaye, kintu ami ekhono korini :)........

ekhane ashpasher shobayi e student....maane amader bari ta jekhane.....etake bole South Campus...r South Campus e Indian students e beshi...infact bhorti bangali. Saraswati Puja theke Durga pujo....ebar naki poila boisakh o hobe....hujug uthteyi thake kichhu na kichhu.............amio besh mete uthi sheyi hujuge. janish ekhane eshe ami naach o korechhi :)...Columbus e 2008 er Bangamela hoyechiilo...onek boro artist ra eshechhilen...3 din dhore bongoutshab r ki! Suni theke Samaresh...Lopa theke Srikanta, Swapan theke Satinath..shobayike dekhlam ekhane boshe...r sheyi bangamela'r inauguration e amra nach korlam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kolkata e boshe eta bhabte o partam na.

Amricans ra dibbyo manush...amar besh pochhondo hoyechhe....ekhane lok eto kom, je bhir ki jinish praaye bhulte boshechhi. ekhane shobayi nijer raja. "Freedom" er swad ekhaane esheyi bujhlam...lagamhin swadhinota shobbar odhikaar edeshe. tobe niyom o achhe, ayin o achhe r ta na maana hole kothin shashti o achhe. ekhane raasta e poth cholti protita manush dekha hole heshe "hello" bole...irrespective of caste creed color and religion...........shobayi e jeno bondhu howar jonne raaji hoyeyi achhe. amar besh bhalo legechhe United States of America! Shudhu thanda ta boddo beshi r rod tao boddo beshi.....

Amar advisor bhishon e bhalo manush, jemon bhalo scientist tar theke onek beshi bhalo mansuh uni.....tobe ekhaneo ek mushkil...prochur swadhinota...majhe majhe mone hoy karor hathe nijer lagam ta dile ektu nischinto hoyi :(

porashuno bhalo e cholchhe...coursework praaye sesh....erpor candidacy tarpor shudhu e research...kichu ekta khunje ber korte parleyi kella fateh :)

ekhane kotha diye somoy chole jaaye bujhte parina...ekekdin ektu kuremi kori bote..kintu somoy boddo taratarti kete jaay ekhane.

adjust korte edeshe karor e osubidhe howar kotha noy....amar ontoto hoyni. amar roommates ra khub e bhalo....oder help peyeyi besh ranna korchhi aajkal.....ja bolbi khayyie debo.....machh to murgi..payesh to pathshapta...fried rice to biriyani! Indian to Italian.

Osubidhe shudhu ektayi hochche....dine dine maa r dida'r size er dike egochchi....eta Amrica'r jonne na gene er jonne shetayi bujhte parchhina.

bari jete toh bhishon e ichche kore....kintu jader kachhe jabo tara toh dakena bhai!

dekha jaak, kobe daak pore.

ami toh onek kotha likhlam...tui o tor shob kotha like janash.

bhalo thakish,
Buri